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The Official Paper of the Sleuth Olympics

We go where no other paper dares to go!

By Terrence Zorn

Many of  you  are acquainted with me, Terrence Zorn. After one kidnapping too many, my editor decided I needed to be reassigned to the Sports desk.  That's the thanks I get, for risking life and limb to go undercover on the most dangerous of cases. To report the truth, to the good citizens of Sleuth.

So for you, my loyal readers, I promise to bring you the most in depth and behind the scenes coverage of these esteemed Olympic games.

In early July, while detectives were signing up to participate in the very first Sleuth Olympics, I had the opportunity to speak with a couple of contestants.  Detectives Sleuth Sindy and BadAss of The Firm answered  a few questions.

NC: Sindy, why did you decide to join these Olympic games?

SS: I'm a glutton for punishment.

NC: BadAss, what is your take on the team selection?

BA: Do we really need to have teams, since we have such a small number of players? I suppose Luc and I could be the Swiss bobsled team in these Olympics.

SS: I look forward to poking holes in you BadAss.

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Could there be trouble on the horizon for The Firm? Will BadAss come out of these Olympics looking like a piece of Swiss cheese? Or will Sleuth Sindy end up smelling like Limburger? Only time will tell.

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Elsewhere, Ms Helen said, "I'll join if needed, but would rather judge."  It appears Ms Helen’s participation was needed.  As of this writing, she is now an official contestant.

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July 24th arrived with the announcement of the teams.  There are to be four teams of four players each. Also during this day, they have been challenged with their first task of these Olympics. In one week’s time, all teams need to create an Agency with their teammates. Be funny, patriotic, and fanatical. Come up with an Agency name and team slogan and anything else they can think of to be unique. This year’s contestants, and subsequent teams, are:

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Team A:  Sophie4, Alexandra Ness, Luc Pfeiffer, and Sleuth Sindy

Team B:  Sal Iva, Sultry De Mon, Autumnsprings, and Etain

Team C:  BadAss, Muarray Arty, Mortimer Maze, and Devilish Wings

Team D:  Ms Helen, CodeRed007, Bonanza Jellybean, and Keira Ann

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Team D and Team B donned pom-poms to cheer their teams on. Mortimer Maze went on the record, criticizing the other teams for shouting and singing in the Olympic Village.  He felt there were more important matters for contestants to be focusing on. In a highly public rebuke, Ms Helen offered to loan him some pom-poms and an outfit.

 

July 27th, the day that the Official Schedule of Events were given to the teams. This reporter overheard the athletes discussing the upcoming events. BadAss wanted to know what an IH reward was, while his teammate, Murray Arty asked,"What is Haiku, some sort of rare Pokemon you can't get in Pokemon Go.....only available to Sleuthers?"  I, for one, am amazed that these gentlemen call themselves detectives. Other athletes were just plain excited about the events. Bonanza Jellybean told the organizer of these games, "Breit, these events all sound fantastic! I'm looking forward to it, and thank you so much for all of your hard work putting this together.  It's going to be fun! Go Feminine Assassins." Not long after that statement, the chant  "United we Play. United we win. Feminine but deadly." could be heard through out the Olympic Village. Prompting Sal Iva to ask the question on everyone’s mind, "Feminine but deadly? Guys, isn't that redundant?

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Bright and early, on the first of August, the esteemed judges visited the newly created agencies, to see what the teams were able to accomplish in one short week.  One of the judges, Daenerys Targaryen, threatened to disqualify anyone who misspelled her name.  Personally, I blame the early hour and lack of coffee, for her dreary disposition. I know for a fact, one of the teams was concerned by the judges’s short stay and lack of comment about their efforts.  My question for Rick's Cafe Americain is, how did you expect them to leave any commentary, when you so rudely forgot to offer them an office to work from? Mortimer Maze appealed to the judges and anyone who would listen, while expressing his opinion that the other teams failed to name their agencies in a way that reflected any reference to the Olympic games. With the notable exception of his team’s name, Chariots of Fire.

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